Suzy Snowflake

This week is the Lord Hill craft show up in Snohomish. Sue Van Gerpen is the sweetest little spitfire that has run all the Country Craft shows at both Lord Hill Farm and Vasa Park for the last 14 years. Last night she announced to us that she is selling the show. After much wrestling with the decision, she just needs to move on to whatever is next.

I'm still a little shocked, a little numb, and a little heartsick. This may well be the last time there IS a show at Lord Hill Farm. And March is the last scheduled Vasa Park show. Maybe forever. Of course the hope is that somebody, some genius, wants to pick up the pieces and carry it forward. But the reality is that craft shows have taken a real beating the last few years and I can't even count the number of shows that have foundered, crumbled and stopped altogether.

For me, Sue's shows were always the most successful, the best crafters, the highest quality, the most organized and professional. Quite frankly they were the benchmark of what a show should be, and the ones that all others were compared to. And nobody else's ever came close. I absolutely loved her, Tanna, and all the folks there. It was kind of a comfortable little home for me -- for a couple of weeks in the spring and one week a month during each of the fall and winter months. I still can't believe I won't be seeing all my friends, catching up on the gossip during work shifts. And it was amazing how consistent the sales were for me, more profitable than any of the others. So in addition to the personal aspects, the loss of money that I've come to expect (take for granted?) for this fall is almost too much to imagine at the moment.

Almost like clockwork, or birthdays on the calendar, Sue's shows were a given. In the back of my mind, when things were bleak and I began to entertain ideas about giving up my own business, I would always say to myself, "well, I won't quit completely - I'll still do just a few shows during the holidays, like all of Sue's." Just because they were that good. Even if I gave up everything else, I figured I could still do a handful of Country Craft shows for a little side cash. It never occurred to me that some day it might not be there. It was the top of the pops. How could it not go on forever?

But, it IS in fact, over. At least in this same incarnation. The end of an era. Where Rick and his dog wire up the lights until the very last second, and then rush out to the motorhome in the parking lot. Where Tanna runs the checkout tables with her brilliant combination of iron fist and squishy hugs. Where we tap our toes to Sue's eclectic music collection, and race up and down the aisles looking for her tiny little head over the displays -- she had the perfect answer to any and all questions and problems. She could teach Nordstrom a thing or two about customer service too.

So one more piece of my life has just fallen apart this week. I guess it's the universe telling me that we've spent too much time in this comfy spot. No more sitting on our laurels, waiting for the next steps to become clear. It's time to jump, take a step, any step and keep it moving. That's a lesson I keep trying to teach myself. If you just keep doing the same old thing, over and over, you wither and die. But if you just keep on trying new things, doing stuff, any stuff, moving forward (sometimes backward) the activity itself will propel you in new directions. And things will grow.

It's easy to make the decision to quit something when you've already got something bigger, better, brighter already lined up. It's really scary to quit something when it's dark out there, nothing but a big black hole of un-knowing-ness. Even so, even if you are groping about in the dark, blindfolded, with a ledge in front of you, you still have to take that one little step. And with that one step, the next one shows up. Sometimes, it's just one more step in the dark to the left or right. Sometimes the light comes on and a path emerges. But the next step DOES show up.

So, I need to re-think the show schedule I had begun to line up for the rest of the year. More shows? Bigger shows? Less shows? Focus my business in a new direction? Shift to more online? Find other sources of income to make up the difference? Do I market differently? More retail? More wholesale? Get a part-time job at Starbucks?

Sue made this charming little felted bird. She does some sewing and crafting too. It totally captured me last night. I had to take it home. It's my little Bluebird of Happiness charm. Everthing will be ok, and everything will work out somehow. Again, letting go. Letting whatever happens just evolve. It's such a major theme this month there's no way to ignore it. I'm trying to be patient and see what turns up without controlling the outcome. No worrying, fretting, manipulating or micro managing the puzzle pieces. Just watching them fall into place as they appear and waiting for the picture to emerge out of the pitch dark.