Monday, May 19, 2008


Clean up time after a long show. I am going to take a nap today no matter what. I'm so tired my eyes ache and my limbs feel like lead.

I am working on orders for a couple of hours. I thought it would be a quick half hour, but apparently there was a mental glitch last week and I screwed up packing a few orders. I had them all laid out and at the point I was packing the boxes and re-checking invoices, I must have timed out. Because I forgot one item in one box and switched sprays in the other two. Big fixing and muchos apologies. I try. I really do. Stuff happens. I would flog myself for being dumb, but I can't lift my arms up today. I'm mental smacking myself instead. Which is even stooopider.

I love the word loo.

My tent broke when I was taking it down last night. I've fumbled with screwdrivers and tried to fix it. I think it will stay up next time, but it's entirely possible I'll have a huge nightmare in the middle of the next show. And I will have to buy a new tent. I just don't know. Frankly, I can't afford to buy a new tent. And it looks like the pricing gun on my list this week is DOA too. I'll have to do without. I didn't make any money this weekend. Totally sucks. I can only pay rent and bills, a few groceries. This show was supposed to give me the bump over necessities, a few extra dollars to spend on extras. But sadly, no.

The news isn't always good. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don't. I heard all day yesterday about how many soap vendors there were ("there must be 25 soap vendors here!"). So yeah. We can't all make a million bucks, or even five bucks.

I have a mild peanut allergy. When I eat peanut butter, I usually get an upset stomach and a low grade headache. Doesn't stop me. I still eat it sometimes, because I get a hankering for it. Yesterday I ate grilled veggies with peanut sauce for lunch. And I had a little ice cream with Reece's peanut butter cups swirled in. I barfed. I have to give it a rest.

I am having a war with face creams. Last fall I was using that gorgeous Bliss facial moisturizer that has a dozen of the best anti-aging ingredients packed in it. I started to get a red scaly patch on the side of my nose. So I stopped using it, and went back to my old stuff. After weeks, it faded away. I tried to use something else, and then I got a new patch in a new spot. Stopped the regime, tried to use up even older lotions, weeks passed and it finally left. When I went to Hawaii, I had a bit of another way way older lotion in a travel jar. By the end of the week, I had a new patch starting. I looked around and bought some new creams, being out of everything else. Bam, a brand new patch under one nostril. I can't even go back to older lotions, they all inflame this new spot. It's got to be some kind of ingredient, but I can't possibly figure it out any more. I'm using my Healing Salve this week. It's actually a really good moisturizer for my face right now, I was feeling pretty dry. It's not too greasy, which I was worried about. But the spot is going to take a month to leave probably. I'm out of answers. Maybe I need to just figure out a recipe for a face cream/balm on my own. I don't want to give up all the new nutriceuticals, skinceuticals, peptides, anti-aging whatnots though. Moisture is good. But what about all the antioxidants and brighteners and other stuff that the magazines say I simply must have to be radiant? What about the science and technology that will keep me looking 40 even when I'm 80?

I can't believe those new butt firming shoes work. Not even if I walked 100 miles a day.

There, I needed to empty my head of a bit of rambly stuff. I'm better now. Still panicking about the price of gas, climate change and the collapse of the entire global economy. The cyclone in Myanmar, and then the earthquake in China, plus predictions that we are running out of oil for the increasing global demand, such scary stuff - I'm having a full week of anxiety attacks about the future. Some reports say gas prices will be $5 this summer easy, and that $7-9 is predicted by next year. Will airline travel be out of the question for the rest of my life? Is anybody going to clean up that island of plastic in the Pacific Ocean? We will need to recycle all that plastic because when the oil runs out, we won't have plastic any more. What will they package all our everyday items in with no plastic? Should I be saving glass jars? The first company to make an electric car will be mobbed - why don't they think about doing that? Do I have enough hot air coming out of my mouth to start a wind farm? Stop me. I need a nap.