Bad Credit

My credit card terminal broke last week. The power cord snapped somehow. And since I have the most ancient little machine, nobody could get me the new part. So I was forced to "shop around" for a new merchant service, totally under the gun. I suppose it's usually that way. You don't really think about upgrading until it's broke. And then you're pressured to do something immediately, without the luxury of time to really make informed decisions.

Warning, if you'd rather have a hot stick in the eye than learn about merchant credit card processing, I know the feeling -- I've been there -- but you're about to hear way more than you want to know.

It's been a ginormous headache, researching rates and equipment with several reps. Currently I have the old imprinter thing at shows, which means I have to key it all in when I get home. It's time consuming and I don't know if I've been given a bad credit card until I get home. So the alternative is wireless, which operates pretty much the same as when you go to an actual retail location. It's the fees that make you crazy. There is a fee per transaction, which changes depending on whether it's swiped or not, whether you obtain their address, if they have a corporate card, if they have an awards type card, etc. Then there is a monthly minimum fee, a statement fee, debit card fees, fees to close out the batch, wireless fees, activation fees, supply fees, contract fees -- not to mention other specific fees like chargebacks and stuff. Each company has their own set and all of the above vary depending on which one you're talking to or what time of day it is. By the end of it, it's a wonder that they deposit any money at all in your account.

Of course they all tell you that they've got the best rate, and only tell you about the lowest percentage rate. You have to read all the fine print and ask a bazillion questions to find out the rest. So after crunching numbers, grinding up days on this, hemming, hawing, stalling - I found someone who had a replacement of the old cord. Fifteen dollars. I'm functional again. Gah!

I guess I'll need to upgrade eventually. But for the moment, I am going to just put up with my old antique way of doing things, which in the long run is probably cheaper than all that new technology with extra fees. Eventually I'll have to join the new decade . . . sooner rather than later. But at least I'm not in the panic of having nothing. And I can look around for a better deal and negotiate a little better. One of the guys sounded kind of promising -- and it's free equipment, no contract and pretty nice rates. They are sort of like used car salesmen. You need to do the dance a bit, make them cough up a little nicer package if they want your business. I'm not really into that sort of thing, but sometimes you do what you need to do. I'm putting on extra smarm protection and going back in.